Rules of Band
by MorikoSakura
Summary: Some rules band people should follow.


a.n. so this has been done before, but this is my version of things, that as band members, we are not aloud to do. And some things that should be done, no matter what. Sorry that this is bias towards piccolos flutes and has inside jokes.

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We may not complain that the football team kicked us off of the field.

We may not turn Dr. Beat on to annoy the crazy hippies and mess up their "ode on the lake" ceremony, or just to annoy anyone for that matter.

We may not complain that we always get a yellow school bus and request charter busses.

We may not speak of band camp to non band members.

Musical jokes aren't funny to anyone but orchestra members and us.

Piccolo's may not play high notes to annoy others.

We may not abandon our sections during pep band for any reason. Though we do anyways.

We may not complain to the school when the day after a basketball game, they mention everyone involved, but the pep band, even though we played before the game and during the game.

We may not ridicule the dance team for not being together because our flags are just as bad.

Piccolos must always be tuned. Always.

We may not play each others instruments.

Piccolos may not rub in how small their instruments are. Flutes either.

Clarinets may not squeak on purpose.

Drums may not be pounded on.

Drumsticks are not weapons.

Our instruments must be protected at all costs.

Marching in bare feet so we don't ruin our school shoes is fun, but not helpful.

We may not sing during halftime, even if we know the lyrics and aren't playing.

We may not sit in the band room during cool down for cross country, even though we don't want to run anymore.

We may not laugh at fellow band members because they have to march and we don't due to sports or other activities that get us out of practice.

We may not use the excuse "I could not do my homework last night because I had band!"

We may call the plumes cocks, just not in the vicinity of teachers.

We may not make fun of the announcer when he mispronounces the last name of our trumpet soloist.

We may not respond to "Band ten hut!" in any language but English.

Flutes must be kept parallel at all times and no other section may make fun of us for this.

It's not funny to freak a piccolo player out.

If a percussionist drops a drum stick, pick it up before someone trips on it.

Watch the director at all times, in case he cuts you off early.

Instruments are not to be used as weapons.

Even though marching band should qualify as a sport, we may not request that it becomes one.

Marching shoes are not to be misplaced.

If your music gets wet, empty your flip-folder and let it dry before it molds.

Band camp pictures are not to be used as black mail.

We may not make fun of other schools bands, even if their half time show is stupid.

We may not kick the other band off the field because they are taking too long.

We may not call the T.V. networks and complain that they should show the band half time shows during college games. No one but us cares, ok?

We may not purposely lose our music.

We may not "accidently" forget to practice.

We may not distract people still in march-offs by yelling wrong commands or making it impossible to hear the real commands.

We may not try to break Dr. Beat so we don't have to listen to the annoying beeps anymore.

We may not steal other people's music and forget to tell them.

We must not laugh when our trumpet soloist is missing during practice and the trumpet that's trying to cover can't play the high notes and sounds awful.

Cell phones must be on vibrate during half time.

We must be back by the start of 4th quarter so we don't lose our free 3rd quarter privileges.

We may not kill the majorette, even though she knew she had to move and was twirling fire, thus messing up the flute set and almost setting the flutes on fire.

When non flag corp people are spinning the flags after rehearsal, they must know where everyone is around them.

You must not give us Mountain Dew or Vault.

When at band camp and you have Mountain Dew in your cabin, make sure your chaperone doesn't know where it is so he can't hide it as a joke.

When above said event takes place, you may not retaliate by pulling his bed out side and dumping Mountain Dew on the mattress.

Lights out means lights out.

You are not aloud to cry when marching season is over.

The trumpets are not better than the rest of the band.

You may not try to drown anyone in the lake at band camp.

When you chart your songs, learn your spots.

Do whatever the director tells you, not what you want.

During sectionals, actually work on music.

Tuners exist for a reason. Use them.

You may not argue over what instrument has the hardest part in a song.

You may not kill all the band members who can't play, read music, etc.

Instrument cases are not to be stood/sat upon.

You may not see who fits in a drum case.

Flutes may not conveniently forget their flip folders just because they hate them.

Clarinets are the only ones aloud to cut the fingers off of their gloves.

Piccolos, percussionists, and flutes get first dibs on grippy gloves.

Tuners are not to sing into. We're the band. We can't sing.

The girls bathroom is not where your flute foot joint belongs.

We may not complain when they push back the project for the new performing arts wing so they can get the football stadium done. Even if it means we have to walk through the cold because all music departments are in a separate building.

We must get rid of gum before half time.

Non band members may not wear our hats.

Flag corp members are the only ones aloud to wear glitter.

We may not dance in place during half time without permission.

Flutes are not to be used as anything but instruments.

We can't request special privileges for being in band.

Parades are long. Get used to it.

We can't "accidentally" hit anyone with your trombone slide.

We may not confuse people with band terms.

We may not tell our non band friends to stay in step. They have no clue what we're talking about.

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Please review! I hope you liked it! Moriko-chan


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